Signs that show you're comfortable being single...and what I think about that!

So I follow this page on social media called "This is Why I'm Single". It's mostly, or at least it started out as, funny memes of people poking fun at themselves for being single. But there are apparently many of us that are PROUD to be single and talk about the perks of our relationship status'. So it has somewhat evolved a bit and occasionally features articles that are helpful in feeding our confidence.  This is just one example. You can find the link to the original article here.

Now I want to preface this by acknowledging that the original article is likely aimed at individuals much younger than me. It also speaks a lot about breakups and my last breakup was almost 5 years ago. 

Signs That Show You’re Comfortable Being Single

You Can Kill Your Own Spiders

I must admit when I first got divorced and was living on my own 11 years ago, I had a little trouble with critters of all kinds. I found a dead rat in the backyard of my townhome and dropped to my knees then and there thanking the Lord that it was already dead! I also prayed I would not find any live ones and thankfully, I never did. But there was the occasional palmetto bug which, let's face it, is just a fancy word for cockroach.  There were also spiders here and there, an angry bird (yes, seriously) and most recently, a baby snake. 

Maybe it's because I watch a lot of murder shows but I actually begun to enjoy taking a life! I mean, it gets old killing plants and come on, now. We're talking bugs here and they carry diseases. The neighbor got a cat and we never saw the bird again. I like to think that the mere presence of the cat just scared the bird off. And I did allow the baby snake to slither off despite my mom's warnings that where there's a baby, there's a mom. 😉 Not necessarily. If my 6th grade science memories are accurate, snakes lay eggs and they're done. So I like to think that the mom is somewhere down by the Cahaba River (which isn't far from me) and the baby was seeking its own way in this world. That was 2 years ago and I haven't seen a snake since so let me have this!

You Like Spending Time Alone

This is probably my favorite. When I was first divorced, I still had two teenagers living with me most of the time. I treasured my time alone so I sort of transitioned into this one. Now that the nest is empty and has been for quite some time, I have to admit there are times that it is difficult but I don't think that has anything to do with me being actually alone. I just miss my kids. When all you ever wanted to be was a mom and now you've done your job and they're on their own, living great, wonderful  and productive lives, it's sad realizing that part of your life is over. 

But I DO enjoy my own company. I am very proud of the fact that I am NOT a needy person. I am not desperate to be with someone or around other people all the time. People that are like that actually get on my last nerve!  Grow up, will you?

I enjoy reading a book, watching tv, browsing the web, cuddling my dogs, spending time in prayer and meditation, working on hobbies, etc etc etc. I don't understand why other people can't do the same. 

And I have NO PROBLEM saying no to something I don't care to do. I don't have to be out and about all the time and when I am, I'm fine flying solo.

You’re Actually Busy On The Weekends

No, I am not spending my weekends sitting around, waiting to see if someone is going to ask me to go out. I'll make my own plans. In my expeirence, making plans with others usually falls apart. People are so wishy-washy and have no boundarie with things. They'll cancel plans with you at the last minute for "work" or some other bullshit excuse. And by bullshit excuse, I mean, they found something else they'd prefer to do that honor the commitment they made with you in the first place. So screw 'em. I got my own things to do. And I can do them BY MYSELF. 

You Can Go See A Movie By Yourself

Go to a movie nothing, I went to GUATEMALA by myself!

You’re Not Rushing To Jump Into Anything New

Definitely not. I'm self supporting so I don't need a man to take care of me. And my last relationship went too far too fast and ultimately blew up. I am not looking to do that again. 

And You’re More Skeptical Of The “Perfect” Guy

Please. There is no "perfect guy". And before all my male friends chime in here, no, there is no "perfect girl" either. When you're in your 30's and up, pretty much everyone has drama, baggage and issues. You have to find someone whose shit is worth putting up with and someone willing to put up with yours.

You’re Genuinely Happy For Your Friends Who Are In Relationships

I am very happy for my friends who are in marriages and relationships. What makes me NOT happy are those that think they can't live without being in a relationship. You know the type. Someone that jumps from person to person, always needing to have someone on the hook or on standby.

You Ran Into Your Ex And Didn’t Have A Break Down

I don't have breakdowns anymore over anything except mistreated dogs. But my reaction to running into an ex does depend on which ex we're talking about. My ex husband is my best friend. Yes, I know it's weird and I'm working on a novel based on our relationship and its history. But that's for another blog. 

As for ex boyfriends, most I'd be okay with bumping into and have a time or two. It was cordial and brief. There is one in particular that if I ever run into again, I may get arrested. Fortunately, he doesn't live anywhere near me and I haven't see him in over 10 years so there's little chance of me needing bail money (not for that anyway 😀) And there is another that I have seen from a distance a time or two and literally hid!  I'm not sure why I had this reaction. But the point is--no breakdowns.

You Have No Problem Being The Third Or Fifth Wheel

My best friends are married so I've been the 3rd wheel on more than one occasion. I love their husbands and they tend to love me or at least they pretend to and we all have fun.

You Don’t Care If You Have A Bad Date

Truth be told, it's been almost a year since I went on a date. Good date, bad date it's all the same bullshit.

You Don’t Have The Urge To Drunkenly Text Any Exes

I learned the hard way, once it's over, it's best to delete the numbers!

You’ve Picked Up A New Hobby

This one is easy for me because I've always been inquisitive. Relationship or no relationship, I'm always finding new things to do and/or learn. It's actually a seciton of my bucket list!

You’re Comfortable Traveling Alone

See above about going to a movie alone. But yes, I went to Guatemala alone and met up with a group there. But I'm fine going anywhere alone and in many ways I prefer it. I don't have to agree with someone else on where to eat or what to do and when. I don't have to make smalltalk or listen to endless chatter. There some things I like to do, such as kayaking, that it's really not safe to do alone. But that doesn't stop me. I just take safety precautions, let someone know where I'll be and check back in periodically.

Seeing Couples In Public Doesn’t Fill You With Bitterness

Anyone who gets filled with bitterness over seeing another couple has real issues and needs therapy.

You Don’t Stress About Having A Wedding Date

Maybe I haven't been to enough weddings. We're supposed to have dates to weddings? I went to two family weddings last year. I went with family. Duh.

You Deleted Those Dating Apps You Half-Heartedly Downloaded After Your Breakup

I've been on dating apps and websites from time to time. I usually get super irritated within a few days and get back off. I went on one date last year from Plenty of Fish. It was fun but there was no chemistry. I went on a few dates several years ago from Match.com. Same thing. It's just not something I care to spend money or time on anymore.

You’re Not Willing To Settle

I'm 51 years old. I'm financially stable. I've had my kids. I'm fine being alone. Yes, I stand by what I said earlier that we all have stuff, but at this point, why would I settle?

You’re Focused On Work

I'm not necessarily career-minded anymore. I just want a job that I enjoy, pays my bills and keeps my challenged. But I started a new job six months ago and I'm still learning and striving to master it. 

You Have A Close Group Of Friends

I have ONE best friend that I trust completely and can count on no matter one. I also have a cousin that I'm very close to. And my mom. I know a few that want EVERYBODY to like them. Guess what, sweetie, that'll never happen no matter what you do. And when you try to run with different groups, someone will always doubt your loyalty. And they're usually right. 

Back in high school, a wise teacher once told me that most people will be lucky if, over the course of their entire lives, they have five true friends. I found that to be true. Over the course of my life, my "friends" or the ones I spent time and had fun with have tended to depend on my environment. School, work, other parents, college, social media, etc. 

I still have many people that I call friends. I think fondly of them and wish them well. We talk from time to time. But CLOSE friends, TRUE friends, those are few. And that's fine with me.

You Tell People You’re Happy Being Single And You Know You’re Not Lying

Absolutely.