Life

I started writing the below Wednesday evening, June 17 and in the middle of it I got the news that my best friend's husband suddenly passed away. It really puts things in perspective. I'm sorry for taking so many things for granted. I know I still have a lot of work to do on myself and on some relationships with my kids. I may be forever working on that. But it's important to me that everyone know how much I love them and DO want to be a good person and be support for your dreams.


I have got to get back to blogging and OFF of social media. Yes, I know blogging is a form of social media. But it's different. I'm not subjected to dumbasses and fake news! More about that later...

It's been a crazy few months. I turned 50 the week after the last blog and it was on that day that I found out I would have to move! I was devastated at first. I didn't think I'd be able to afford anything else and I had a daughter in college that lives with me plus pets to consider. But I didn't have a choice.

My asshole of a landlord discovered that I ripped up the old, disgusting, falling-apart carpet and put in new, gorgeous luxury vinyl plank flooring in one of the rooms. I had to. I was coming apart and I was tripping over it all the time. I've had two knee replacements--I can't be doing a lot of falling! But more than that, it looked awful. I thought the landlord would appreciate me doing this out of my own pocket but I was so wrong.

I guess I should've known. I mean, this old fart is from the generation that put carpet down over hardwood floors! Go figure. He did NOT like the improvement. And while I'm no professional, everyone else loved it. They said I did a great job. No, not a perfect job. But it looked so much better than what was there before and I intended on doing the entire house. But alas, he was ill about it and decided to use that excuse to tell me he was going to put the house up for sale. Yes, in the middle of a damn pandemic, he decides it's a good time to sell.

No, I don't want to go bashing the cute little house. However, it's NOT Gracie Mansion! But you could never tell him that. Whatever. Let him find out for himself there won't be people lined up to buy it. Especially given current global circumstances.

But it actually turned out great for me! I found a great, two bedroom luxury apartment in fabulous community with two pools, a fitness center, trash valet service with cable and internet included, water included, all electric, with a fireplace located right on the Little Cahaba river with private hiking trails. I love everything about it except that right now the pool and fitness center have restricted hours because of COVID-19. I love the flooring, the countertops, cabinets, fixtures, patio, layout, big walk-in closets--everything!  The rent was quite a jump from what I paid for the little house. But after I factored in cable, internet, water, no more gas bill, trash bill or gym membership--it wasn't so much of a jump.

I didn't think I would like living out on 280 but I do. The traffic can be a klusterfuq at times but so was Hwy 11! It takes me half the time to get to work downtown that it did before I moved. And everything is out here. Everything. No shortage of restaurants, stores (not that I do any shopping except groceries) and many other things. I'm also closer to my favorite cousin!

So give God the glory, what someone else meant to be bad, He turned it around to my good!

But even though I love my new place, I am having a little bit of a rough time emotionally. I don't know if it's the hormone fluctuation of menopause or what but everything gets on my nerves lately. This STUPID "pandemic" we're going through, these bullshit riots, I'm having a difficult time at work (I can't go into that right now) and I've put on a lot of weight since these knee surgeries. All of it is making me short tempered, particularly with my adult children. We argue. Mostly over politics and current events. I realize they're young and they see the world the same way I did when I was young. But back then there was no fake news or social media to confuse us. And they are seriously confused. They believe everything they see and hear from the far left. It's frightening how many people can't see what's happening and how many more bury their heads in the sand. I get it's hard to acknowledge. I just pray for the Second Coming already! I know I'm not perfect. Very far from it. I say and do things I shouldn't because we all sin and fall short. But I know my Savior and I wish everyone else did, too. And before someone comments about my cusswords in the same post as my praise--yes, I know "cursing and praise should not come from the same mouth". I get it. I refer you back to Romans 3:23 and John 3:16. End of conversation.

I had to find a new primary care doctor because the one I absolutely loved, who found my cancer after two other doctors missed it, went out of network with my insurance which doubled my copays. And her billing manager doesn't like my secondary insurance and refused to file it. I just can't afford to pay double every time I need to see someone when I normally don't pay anything at all. So I reluctantly found a new doctor and I love her, too, thankfully.  I had a lengthy conversation with her and her nurse practitioner about my medicines, exercise, etc and I have a game plan. I wish I could wave a wand and it all be done but the reality is it's going to be a lot of work. I have to get up to date on all checkups and I may even start seeing a therapist. I also have to reprioritize some things which is why I'm going to try and stay off social media as much as possible. My ex-husband is so wise to have avoided that mess. It does have some good things about it. I have reconnected with some people and become friends with others. I found a great cancer support group when I needed it and have discovered some outdoor activities. None of this would have happened without Facebook. But it has become troublesome.

I'm looking forward to this weekend and the week following as I am taking a much needed vacation. I'm going out of town for the weekend but I can't say where just yet. And next week I'm planning to do a lot of hiking and possibly some backcountry camping--alone! I think solitude will be good for me.